(Not) Smoking Sucks!

I've been home from the hospital for 4 days, and the not smoking thing is starting to get a bit old. I've fallen off the wagon a couple of times, but I remain committed to the cause. I'm still determined to quit and stay that way, but the transition is harder than I thought it would be. I am going to see my doctor next week, and I will beg him to put me on a prescription to be more successful in quitting.

I don't need to state the harmful effects of smoking, of which I'm sure everyone is well aware. I have watched it claim the life of my mother, my father in law, and it is now in the process of claiming my best friend's dad. I try to be strong for my friend, but I know what she's going through, and what she is going to go through. I think it bothers me more than I am willing to let on to her.

No, I am here to state the fun parts about smoking. The things I'll miss if I quit. First of all, the business of  having something to do with your hands. With not smoking, I'm literally twiddling my thumbs alot.

I work for a lawn & tree care srvice, so I'm in the truck when I'm working. If I discover I have a 10 or so minute drive to my next stop, I celebrate the fact that that is time enough to puff one down on the way, and I look forward to it. Driving and smoking always seem a natural marriage. Flicking the ashes out the window, the way a cigarette looks in your hand as you grip the steering wheel.  And when driving at night, and you flick the smoked butt out the window, the pyrotechnic show you are treated to as you watch the butt hit the ground at 50mph and explode into a frenzy of wind blown orange sparks is always oddly satisfying.

In the movies of the 30s, 40s and really up to the 80s, smoking is always highly glamourized. In the older movies, the hero of the story is always a smoker, and he always looks very cool when doing it. And make no mistake, the ladies went for it. There is one movie that I don't know the name of , or who's in it, but in one scene, our hero is trying to impress a dame. He takes out two cigarettes, puts them both in his mouth, lights them both, then gives her one.  I have rarely seen anything much cooler than that. And you can tell that she is way impressed by it. The amount of cool that he uses to do this is legendary.

I will also miss the smoke breaks at work. I work in  a truck, but sometimes during the winter I work in the office, and as such, am entitled to a 5 minute smoke break once an hour. What am I gonna do with this five minutes?  The working environment seems to be designed around the smoker and his five minute breaks that he looks forward to for 55 minutes. I guess the noners just kinda sit there for five minutes not smoking, but not working either. My best friend and I usually make a ritual out having a morning smoke before work begins. We use this time to chat and just hang out. And if the conversation gets compelling, we'll have two smokes.

There is nothing more satisfying than a cigarette after a great meal. And, yes, after THAT, too. After getting home from a place where you can't smoke. After getting out of your non smoking friend's car. After getting out of a movie theatre. After being around your friend's children. Nothing is more disappointing than going to your favorite restarant and finding out it has gone smoke free. Over the years, it has been hard not to notice that  it is getting harder to find someplace in public to safely smoke.So there are many thing to miss about smoking. But hopefully I can find just as many compelling reasons not to smoke as I found to do it. The price of the damn things come to mind.

I'm certainly not going to preach to anyone about quitting. That has to be one's own decision. I know the addictive power they have, and I'm finding out how hard that is to deal with. Or without, as the case may be. I know I'm better off without them. Do me a favor....remind me of that once in awhile, ok?

NOTE: This was originally written in Oct of 2008, and published on my Myspace page. I am still struggling to quit, and no longer work in the lawn and tree care business. Sadly, my friend's father passed away about two weeks after this was published.